Things I Like

By the time I got home from work yesterday, I had a banging headache, and while I hoped to go for a relaxing stroll with Brucey, I really needed to curl up on my bed in a dark room for about 45 minutes while the drugs kicked in. I was in a sour mood as my allergies had, yet again, foiled my plans and made my head throb.

So after walking in the front door and yelling at the dog for smashing my glasses against my already fragile head, I mumbled something to Ryan along the lines of, “I just need five minutes, five minutes to rest then I swear I’ll help get ready to grill out. Then I walked upstairs, discarding my clothing on the way and tumbled into my bed with a pillow on my head and a dog by my side.

I woke up an hour later and got in the shower, and felt my dark mood lifting. And I realized that there are a few things in my life that I really can’t do without. Luxury Item things, things that as a consumer, I could have saved money by purchasing the non-name brand item. Things that I would have scoffed at in my earlier life, but now see the error of my ways. I want to list these items here, in no particular order, as a way of paying homage for making my life much, much better:

1. My NASA-Approved Tempur-pedic Bed. This thing is the effing bomb. I suffered extreme insomnia for years until this bed came into my life. My aunt and cousins spent one July 4th weekend telling me how great the bed was, reenacting the wine glass on the bed, letting me nap for a few minutes. The following Labor Day, when I told them that I hadn’t yet purchased one, my cousin Ramie asked with a straight face, “What’s wrong with you?” I get it now. I am constantly inviting guests to, “Go on! Go try it out! Just ignore the fact that the bed hasn’t been made in 6 months!” Not a week goes by where either Ryan or I can be heard saying, “I love my bed.”
2. My Dyson Ball All-Floors Vacuum. Ryan got this for me for Christmas. A total surprise, since we weren’t supposed to spend more than $50 dollars on each other. But damn, if I don’t actually LIKE vacuuming these days. You should see the crap that comes out of our 5X7 carpet. It’s insane.
3. My orange, monogrammed Klean Kanteen. The Klean Kanteen might seriously be the best gift ever. Being a huge water drinker and trying to be more eco-friendly, I tried the Nalgene, but it always tasted kind of gross. I would also reuse my Dasani bottles like 500 times before throwing them away in an attempt to reduce my carbon footprint. The thing about the Klean Kanteen is that water actually tastes better in it than in any other container. And it keeps your water cooler longer, and it gets super cool in a jiffy. My first Klean Kanteen was an olive green one (my fave color) that my mom got me for Christmas, but I would panic when I was almost finished with the bottle because that meant I had no cold refreshing water in reserve. My mom surprised me for my birthday with a second orange one (my other favorite color). I will never thirst again.
4. My rainfall shower head. My mother-in-law got this for us as a housewarming gift from QVC (she buys many, many things from QVC). Between this amazing showerhead, and the intense water pressure in our house, we do not so much shower as we are pummeled by hot cleansing lasers. And it is awesome. And definitely offsets any eco-footprint reduction generated by the Klean Kanteen.
5. My pure-bred Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever, Tartan’s Oxidation Blues. You can call him Rusty. Or Russ. Or Bruce. Or Sprucey. And he will respond to all. This is why a pure-bred Toller is better than any other dog. They are as smart as the shit they will eat.
   
   
6. As a late addition, Sless just reminded me of how important the DVR has become in my life. I refused to allow Ryan to get it for years, and then last year, when Comcast accidentally gave us the wrong HD box, we suddenly had DVR, and it is like my television-watching life had no meaning previously. I DVR everything, just so I can fast-forward through the commercials. I especially enjoy DVR-ing Gossip Girl, and then not allowing Ryan in the room while I suck it in like a juicy mojito in all its yummy goodness, becuase he judges me the whole time I watch it. OMFG.